This journey can’t be painfully personal if you don’t know me personally. So, consider this my formal introduction to who I am and why I am doing this!
Hi, I’m Emily and I just started training. I’m training to get in shape for my wedding, for a marathon, and to just become the best version of myself that I can be. Unfortunately for my lazy quarantine lifestyle, these all have to start right now and we are going all gas no breaks.
Why am I doing this to myself?
I know it’s the cliche start of “quarantine made me re-evaluate what’s important,” but at the lowest level that’s the truth. I started 2020 thinking that it would be the year that I got everything I wanted. Instead, the only thing that I got by the end of 2020 was the realization that my job was making me miserable, my body was making me miserable, and my drive to better myself was gone. And yes, I did try multiple times in multiple ways to change any part of that feeling. Many angry texts have been sent, many pounds of junk food have been eaten, and many tears and boogers went into all of my blankets.
Now, I’m not a tough love kind-of person to get results. I don’t respond well to the “we can do it together” mindset when it comes to getting something done either. I’m the *uses panic that comes from wanting perfection but the deadline is coming fast and I’m not going to fail* kind-of person. So, why am I doing this? My wedding countdown hit 250 days, and the panic started.
College engrained this form of debilitating perfectionism in me, but luckily I was an Education major so a lot of my perfectionism was used making lesson plans to be graded. If I could make a a 28 page lesson plan for an A+ in 2 days, then I knew I could make a plan to make myself at least a tiny bit better in 250 days. With any good plan, you begin at the end. My end(s): Feel great at my wedding and be happy in my career.
Now, how do I get from the beginning to the end? Here’s what my thought process was:
Feel great at my wedding?:
- Look good, feel good. I feel good when I am in shape. I need to train to get in-shape. How should I train to get in-shape? Train for an event, so you can have a set goal to reach. What event should I train for? Train for a marathon. Marathon training will help me to get in-shape, to look good, and to feel good by the wedding…. Before I could even second guess it, I had already entered the Sir Walter Raleigh Marathon.
Be happy in my career?
- What parts of work do I like? I like the writing and controlling a social media page. How can I capitalize on that? Write more and learn more about writing blogs and social media. Improve on those skills and find or make a career that uses them.
If you’re still reading, kudos and I’m glad you’re here! We have reached the most important part of introducing me and my painfully personal blog: Why am I writing about it?
Writing and posting about my experience training to be better is what I believe is going to hold myself accountable for showing up and is going to be a great experience later to see my growth. I also wanted to share my own experience with what I’m doing, so that if anyone else needs a connection, an idea, a plan, or a little bit of inspiration to do the same for themselves they can. I don’t know if anyone will actually read this or anything I post, but I am going to put my whole experience out there. In a world where everyone online is put together and perfect, I am ready to be painfully personal.
Gotta run (literally), next post coming soon!